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Wondering How To Find a Surrogate? Ask These 5 Questions

Writer's picture: Surrogate ConceirgeSurrogate Conceirge


If you’re curious about surrogacy, you've probably already asked yourself a million questions on the topic. While you may not be short on questions, you may be unsure about the right questions to ask or how to ask the right questions at the right time. 

 

For instance, now isn’t the time to stress over how you will feed your baby once your surrogate gives birth. But it is the perfect time to know the answer to questions about where your surrogate should live and what type of relationship you want with them.

 

We pulled together 5 of the most common questions intended parents ask at the beginning of their surrogate search so you have a head start on your quest. These 5 questions can help you explore whether this is the right time to pursue surrogacy, set your expectations, and guide you on how to find the right surrogate for your family.


1. Does the surrogate have to be near me? 

Or, put simply, does location matter for surrogacy? The answer has a few moving parts. You and your surrogate do not have to live in the same city or state, but your surrogate does have to live in a state where surrogacy is legal. At Surrogate Concierge, we vet all of our agency partners so your future surrogate meets all the legal requirements before you even get the chance to say hello. 

 

All potential surrogates are also prepped to expect some travel during their journey, most likely to your fertility clinic for one or two appointments, including your embryo transfer! 



2. What type of relationship do I want with a surrogate?

This is one of the more personal questions intended parents contend with before they start their surrogate search. Every surrogate (and every intended parent) is different. There is no “right” way to have a relationship with your surrogate. The goal of asking (and answering) this question is to determine what you feel is the best relationship for you.

 

Do you want a surrogate who is open to constant updates and communication? Are you okay with a surrogate who may want limited contact? Once you land on an answer to this question, you can discuss your preference with your Surrogate Concierge case manager so they vet each surrogate with your needs in mind.  


3. Do I have the support of my family and friends? 

Bringing a baby into the world is a beautiful, emotional rollercoaster, no matter how you choose to grow your family. Our Surrogate Concierge team is here to support you every step of the way, but we’re not offended to know that your nuclear support team is full of loving family and friends. The more love and support you get during this journey, the better! Take some time early in your surrogacy search to list out the loved ones you feel most comfortable sharing the joys and hard times with. 


4. Am I ready to invest in my surrogate search? 

Partnering with a surrogate search service like Surrogate Concierge is a financial investment, and, as we mentioned above, the surrogate search as a whole is also an emotional investment. It’s helpful to set aside time to ask yourself if you have the time, energy, and finances to support your ideal surrogate experience. 

 

We have a slew of resources that can help you navigate the financial ins and outs of surrogacy, but before you even get there, asking yourself, "Am I ready to invest in surrogacy?” can help you set the right foundation. 


5. What’s most important to me in a surrogate match? 

Your surrogate criteria list is the surrogate wish list you will share with your Surrogate Concierge case manager. Since everyone’s journey is different, what is most important to you isn’t something your surrogate support team can guess. You can be as specific as you would like when creating your list.

 

You may want to consider some short list topics such as your ideal surrogate’s:

·         Wellness habits, like whether they work out regularly

·         Views about termination or other pregnancy realities that may pop up along the way

·         Health concerns

 

Other intended parents may also focus on location, why someone wanted to become a surrogate in the first place or their preferred level of communication with a surrogate, as we mentioned above. Remember, no ask or want is too nuanced to mention!  

 

Build the family of your dreams

Your time is precious, and this journey can be as beautiful and meaningful as you want it to be. These 5 questions can help you set the stage for the surrogacy search that’s best for you. Surrogate Concierge is ready to help you find the right surrogate for you and your family, so get in touch with us to find out how we can ease your family-building journey.



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